From Crisis To Resolution,
Client-Focused Solutions

Why a sleep divorce might lead to an actual divorce

The idea of a sleep divorce has started to gain mainstream traction. People claim that those who decide to undergo a sleep divorce could avoid actually ending their marriages. Even some celebrities have begun to endorse the idea of sleep divorce. A sleep divorce involves spouses agreeing to maintain separate bedrooms. They may do this to address differing schedules or overcome the sleep disruptions triggered by someone’s medical issues. Someone with sleep apnea, for example, either snores incredibly loudly or requires noisy machinery to address their symptoms.

A sleep divorce allows people to preserve their marriage in a scenario where sleep challenges might lead to friction between spouses. However, sleep divorces are not always successful. Why might a sleep divorce lead to an actual divorce?

One spouse refuses to try

The spouse proposing a sleep divorce might view their suggestion as quite reasonable. After all, their current marital circumstances may not be that positive given how one or both spouses may experience significant sleep disruptions due to the schedule or health of the other. Unfortunately, some people take the proposal of a sleep divorce very personally and resent the idea that they should go to bed at night by themselves.

Someone coping with long-term sleep deprivation due to the schedule their spouse maintains or their nighttime noises might resent their refusal to compromise. In some cases, proposing a sleep divorce ultimately proves unsuccessful and may eventually lead to a divorce because one spouse refuses to embrace the idea.

Fixing the sleep issues isn’t enough

Couples find that sleeping separately allows both spouses more personal space and better rest. Their relationship may improve significantly because they begin sleeping separately. Other times, people who begin sleeping separately start to realize that exhaustion is not the only issue putting pressure on their marriage. They may quickly realize that they enjoy being alone in part because they no longer have a positive dynamic with their spouse. Some couples attempt to improve their relationship with a sleep divorce but eventually realize that their relationship is past the point of no return.

Those experiencing major disruptions in their health or relationship because of sleep issues need to recognize that a sleep divorce is not a cure-all that creates miraculous changes in family dynamics. Realizing that a sleep divorce may not prevent a legal divorce filing may help people better protect themselves when experiencing marital struggles.